My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
