I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
