so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
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I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
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I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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