just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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