we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
