It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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