i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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