Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
