I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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