I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Randomize
