Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
