if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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