Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
