help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
