So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
