New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize