I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
