Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
