Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Drunk is not a location!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
