omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
