the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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