what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I think your dad took our porno
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
