Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
