everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I think I sprained my soul last night
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
