I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
