Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
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I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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