I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
