love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
