Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
