I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She needs sedatives and a leash
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
