Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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