Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
