I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize