Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
