maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
