i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
