"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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