4 words: hood of his car
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
