can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
