Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
