i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
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I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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