Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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