a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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