i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
