My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I love you. Go after that dick
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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