Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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