Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
