this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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