You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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