Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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