Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
