The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
