Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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