How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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