what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
