I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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